Ivan Tasovac director of Belgrade Philharmonic Orcherstra

Crisis of Capitalism

Recommended by Michael Lassiter.

Tošo Borković

Public Announcement

First of all we would like to extend our deepest sympathies to all of our season tickets holders, not just the one that was unfortunate enough to get shot while attending the football game. We sympathize with everyone because, just like our fine members of the parliament some weeks ago, we do not discriminate people on account of ethnicity, religion, type of admission or amount of pain they have suffered during our team's matches. We are All overwhelmed by the severity of the punishment that the club faces, and five games without the presence of the supporters is, to say the least, unjust, and just goes to show that the State really is hell bent on destroying football in this country. Although it hasn't, this kind of accident could have happened anywhere in the world and is in no way extraordinary.

Concerning the liability for the unfortunate event that happened during the thursday Cup game, we are in no way responsible for the actions of criminals and repeated offenders who, at the same time, are our fan groups leaders and managing board members. During the managing board meetings they have not exhibited any signs of violence that is out of the ordinary and this display of agitation comes as much to ours as everyone else's surprise. Our monitor service has done everything within the confines of the law to ensure the safety of everyone on the stadium. The absence of usual supporter's requisites such as fire crackers, torches, brass knuckles, crowbars, knives and cleavers is a statement to our organizational professionalism. Also, the object associated with the incident is a hand gun, and in no way does it falls under the jurisdiction of the monitor service. It is clearly a domain of the Police.

FC Red Star will appeal to this draconian sentence whose only goal, clearly, is the continuance of the negative campaign towards the Club and domestic football in general. Although we do not expect for the appeal to change anything, since all the levers of control are in the hands of the sworn enemies of our great Family, we are exercising our right in accordance to the statute of the League to which we always have and ever will adhere. Previous thirteen incidents are clearly isolated events and in no way reflect our beloved Club.

Sincerely and Respectfully,
FC Red Star.

Ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

Serbia is one of the few countries of the world whose politicians use magic as a legitimate means to an end. In addition to regular, everyday magician tricks, that is usually reserved for the field of political marketing, a lot of effort is being invested into practicing Magic. Namely homeopathic or imitative magic. This particular occurrence is most clearly shown in Serbian political elite's attitude towards the problem of Kosovo. The particular spell that is used in resolving Serbia's burning issue of Kosovo, is comprised of a simple vocal component that is being repeated over and over in hope of a favorable outcome. It reads "Kosovo is Serbia". Now I would emphasize "in hope" of a favorable outcome because this, in fact, is the essence and differentia specifica of Serbian political magic.

It was J.G.Frazer that, more than a hundred years ago, wrote about primitive people and their practicing of magic, calling them and their primitive customs irrational and prelogical. However, he was wrong because, in fact, irrational and prelogical is the kind of magic that is practiced by Serbian political sorcerers, not "primitive shamans". The answer is in the attitude towards the magic system. In Serbia they Hope the spell will have an effect, the savages Know it will.

Now this kind of explanation of Serbian political magic might be enough in case we believe that the “Kosovo spell” is really directed towards a defense of Kosovo. Serbian political sorcerers are way too clever for that. The spell is actually directed towards the Serbian people whose stupidity and naiveté are those secret ingredients that every respectable sorcerer jealously keeps to himself. The actual defense of Kosovo (what ever that really means) is just an added bonus that everyone hopes for but no one really expects. Meanwhile, the entire country is intoxicated and desensitized to almost everything but the prospects of a glorious return to our sacred lands.

Another occurrence within the Serbian political and public spectrum in general, which can be subsumed under the category of "applied sorcery", explains the nature of Serbian political magic. Serbian political sorcerers belong to a school of magic called Goetia, with a hint of modern necromancy and even Demonolatry. As we all know ceremonial magic include regular blood sacrifices, elaborate occult rituals and the old school selling of the soul to the devil. Following the example of ill-fated Dorian Grey, Serbian political sorcerers sold their soul in return for the everlasting vitality and youth, thus striping themselves of the enormous burden of greed, ruthlessness and remorselessness that encumbers and prematurely ruins the body and soul. Life without a soul and conscience is a comfortable life, especially if you are staying in the politics until the end of your life. Now, I presume that you are wondering isn't there a Portrait of their own the likes of Dorian Grey's, a portrait that would constantly remind them of the kind of monsters they have become? The answer is (and here we can fully comprehend the ingenuity of Serbian Necromancers) the Serbian people itself. Hunched over, miserable and blemished and aged before its time, Serbian people are a much better choice than a portrait or a single individual. You can't destroy seven million people the way Grey destroyed his painting thus ending his wretched life. We are inextricably locked within this circle whose vicious revolution's cessation is nowhere in sight. However, a Revolution is something one can only hope for. Until then They are probably not decomposing even after death. Their country decomposes for them.

Tošo Borković

Superwall - M-City